Sam's Oscar Report

Mon, 1 Apr 1997 - Hollywood



Sam Longoria here, your Oscar reporter.

Whatta couple of days.
Went to the Oscars last Monday, my eleventh time.

I met Goldie Hawn, Nichole Kidman, and Muhammad Ali,
three I've always wanted to meet. After that I was numb.

So I barely noticed meeting Randy Newman, Cuba Gooding Jr., Michael Kidd, Julie Andrews,
Glenn Close, and Jenny McCarthy.

(Well THAT I noticed, she was apparently wearing a shower curtain).

Then I met Nicholas Cage, Kevin Spacey, Jane Fonda and Ted Turner, Louis Gossett Jr.,
and Dennis Rodman, who was in a tall velour hat, looking like a gigantic elf.
I'm not into sports, so I wouldn't have known who Dennis Rodman was, but a friend had
written recently to tell me.

I knew better than to approach Barbra Streisand.  (Last time, she waved me aside
and sent an assistant back, to tell me I wasn't important enough to speak to her.)
Babs was there with James Brolin, Mr. Babs.  The poor bastard.

I spoke with Kenneth Branaugh, and Jodie Foster, and Joel & Ethan Coen,
and Jennifer Lopez and Brenda Blethyn, and Francis McDormand and William H. Macy.

I got to speak briefly with Walter Murch.  I worked on his film "Return To Oz,"
1.5 decades ago. Walter went home with two of the nine "English Patient" Oscars.

My, it was fun. There were a billion persons watching, through the cameras and
microphones of the 6700 media persons in attendance.

I limped a bit, getting around the big Shrine auditorium. I've mostly healed up from my
motorcycle accident, but my knees still ache if I sit too long.

Speaking of knees, I was delighted when I spoke with Lauren Bacall (with whom I chatted on
Seattle television when I was nineteen), to find that she still makes my knees weak.
She is still one sexy woman.

Toward the beginning of the show, between Madonna and Beavis and Butthead,
Billy Crystal read three jokes gathered on the Internet.
One was by "The WILD SIDE Radio Show" comedy writer Dana Snow.

I recognized the style, and Dana's name, and called him at home, on a station break.
I offered to buy the joke as a title for my next movie.

Dana hadn't been watching the telecast, and didn't know his joke had been selected.
He thought I was pulling a prank, and asked me to call him back in the morning.

So for the rest of the night, I had a lovely time at the Governor's Ball at
the Shrine Auditorium, where I met practically everyone else I've ever admired.

In the morning, Dana was swamped by phone calls, and one of them was mine.
Now, he had looked at his Oscar tape, and had a counter-offer for me.
He'd let me use the joke as a film title, if I'd buy the script from him.
I agreed, and we did a verbal handshake, on the phone.

Well, I sent out a few press releases, and the story's taken on a life of its own.
Maybe you've heard it already. It's been on CNN Headline News, and KABC tv and radio
here in LA, and many radio stations around the country, and yesterday _People_
magazine did a photo shoot of Dana, and we're doing one on E!,
and Dana'll be on Barbara Walters (her program I mean).

We've heard from some of the big talk shows, too.

That's the tale, 'til now.

I literally have a big bag of mail on my desk, with scripts and letters and stuff.
My voice- and e-mail is full, full, full. Two investors called.  I've worked
with them before, (during the 4 films I produced last year).  They want to
invest in this show, so it should be a nice little movie,
budget 6 to 10 million dollars.

Dana's working like a one-armed paperhanger to answer his snail-mail and e-mail,
and do all the interviews.  Shows want to know what it is like to have the
"smallest moment on the biggest show."  Dana's wonderful manager Stephanie has
her hands full of a suddenly-famous client. Way cool.

I haven't eaten today, so I must go eat.
More on this fast-breaking story,
as it develops.

Best to you,

Sam Longoria

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© 1997 Sam Longoria, All Rights Reserved